My Positivity: Real or Fake?

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Before I write any more blogs, I need to put this topic to rest.

Don’t worry. You’re not the only one that was thinking that same question. I mean, why else would I need to write about it, if my “realness” never came into question?

I think that I consider myself a positive person in life. My outlook on life, my perspective of situations. I think if you saw me on the street, you’d see me smiling.. Happy. Because I am.

But in the last 4 months since moving to Israel, my genuineness has been perceived as fake by more than some. But why?

People have said..

“Tova, tone down your Facebook posts.. You are making aliyah seem too easy.”

“Tova, come on.. It can’t be that exciting.”

“Tova, let’s see the real you.”

Really?!

So yes, I post to Facebook about all the exciting things going on in our lives here in Israel. According to some, a little too much…By the way, I was doing the same back in America.. My attitude is: If you don’t want to read my posts, don’t read them.

But then I thought.. When you go outside for a walk down the street, what is portrayed on your face? I mean, from a young age, we’re taught:

 “הוי מקבל את כל האדם בסבר פנים יפות” –   Pirkei Avot 1:15 משנה אבות א׳:ט״ו
“hevey mekabel et kol ha’adam b’sever punim yafot”
Greet everyone with a smile on your face.

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So is it right to walk outside with a scowl on your face?
Just because you might be having a bad day, is it OK to make the person that sees you start to feel bad?
If you have a pile of laundry on the couch that just won’t fold itself.. If there are dirty dishes in the sink.. If your kids were having tantrums all morning.. If you got into a fight with your husband/wife (dare I say that?!)..
Do those examples give you the right to make someone else feel bad or sorry for you?

In life, there is a public face and a private face. I don’t think it is necessary to air the dirty laundry for all to read on Facebook. Everyone has bad days.. Everyone feels stressed out sometimes.. But those aren’t the things I choose to write about on Facebook.. Personally, I go to Facebook as an outlet.. If I start reading negativity, why would I want to spend time there?! And trust me, there already is plenty of negativity and sadness on Facebook for all to read. And so I choose to post the happy times.

So no, my positivity is not fake. It is real. I really am a positive, happy person.. And I choose to display that positivity to the rest of the world. Bring happiness to others. I don’t think I’m being dishonest. And I hope you don’t think I am either.

And for as many messages that I received on this topic, I get dozens more of messages of positive feedback about how I’ve been so inspirational. That’ll definitely be a future blog.

So going forward my posts will hopefully be positive, inspirational, and happy. And sometimes when I just need a good cry, I save those times for my family and closest friends. Because if I’m being honest, I have plenty of those too.

I remember when I was discussing our aliyah plans with one of my brothers in law. He asked me, “Are you moving to Israel because you’re not happy here in America? Are you moving because you’re looking for happiness?” I looked straight at him and replied, “I am happy here.. I am choosing to take the happiness and move it to Israel.”

So here’s to honesty and positivity! Seeing life through a positive lens even during challenging times..as hard as that might be.

And as always, feedback, positive and negative, is welcome.

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4 thoughts on “My Positivity: Real or Fake?

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